Hillary's Poll Numbers Spike After Repeated Use of “Hard-Earned Dollars”

By Phil Forrence

Pittsburgh, PA – Hillary Clinton has changed tactics in her fight to wrest the Iowa Caucus from Vermont Senator's , Bernie Sanders', control. After weeks of simply referring to local Iowans as 'hard-working Americans' and telling people her favorite book was the Bible, Clinton has stepped her game up. She now refers to salaries as 'hard-earned dollars'.

“I just feel like she understands me now,” relates Des Moines resident, Allison Stevens. “I work hard for my money, and I want to vote for someone who gets that.”

In order to boost popularity in coming weeks, Clinton plans to increase usage of the phrases “pushing conservative agendas” and “Founding Fathers.”