Survival Guide for When You Forget Your Headphones

By Jessica Simpson

Everyone knows the dreaded feeling of looking in your pockets only to realize you forget your headphones at home. Now you have to be alone with your thoughts. What a nightmare! We’ve created this handy survival guide for what to do if you should encounter such a fate.

-If you’re “studying” and you “take a break” to watch Netflix, just put it on mute and turn on the captions.  Reading is important!

-Sing to yourself! If people stare it’s just because you’re a talented human and they’re jealous.

-Find an appropriate public place to play your tunes aloud without people giving you withering stares.

-Cave and buy new, extremely overpriced headphones, conveniently found at your local Pitt shop or drugstore retailer.  

-Steal someone’s headphones (please don’t).

-Skip your class, abandon all of your responsibilities and go home to get your headphones.  Priorities.

-Walk very close to people wearing headphones—close enough that it’s not creepy but you can still hear the music—one to two feet away is acceptable.  Avoid restraining orders.  

-Allow yourself to have an epiphany that you don’t actually need your headphones.  You only need to open yourself up to the beautiful world around you.  Meditate! Write a poem! Make a friend!

-Find sticks, seashells, what-have you that resembles earphones.  Put them in your ears and pretend they are headphones.  If you can’t actually listen to music you might as well blend in!