PSA To Parents Who Give Out Raisins on Halloween

By Hannah Lynn

 

Dear Parents,

Thanks for all that you do. You've raised children and helped bring the miracle of life into this crazy world. I personally love my parents for sharing their wisdom and inspiring me every day! But some of us are not so lucky. To those parents who give out raisins instead of candy on Halloween: FUCK YOU!! How DARE you ambush young trick or treaters that way? I mean I know the word trick is in the title but for pete's sake! Kids are better off finding razors in their candy than this. It is truly a repulsive act and a huge smear of poop on the face of humanity. I would rather get one hundred [Charleston Chews] than a single box of raisins. You're even worse than the guy who gives out a toothbrush! I mean he's a condescending piece of shit wet blanket, but at least I'll get some use out of a toothbrush. I will NEVER get any use out of raisins. FUCK YOU!!

All my love,

Timmy