Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech First Thing Writer Ever Wrote

Local aspiring writer Ted Femsel, 20, confirmed that the first thing he ever wrote in his literary career was the acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Literature his brilliant fiction would one day earn him.

“I haven’t actually written any fiction yet, but I already got a dozen short stories and a couple novels sketched out in my head, and trust me, they’re so much better than anything literature has had to offer so far,” said Femsel, the future recipient of the world’s most prestigious literary award. He then spent all of his free time planning his visit to Stockholm for the award ceremony, looking at hotels, restaurants, and tourist attractions. But after two weeks of hard work, Femsel realized that perhaps he was getting too far ahead of himself and should instead devote him time and efforts to more important aspects of being a successful writer.

“First I need to build a stunning website for myself, and since I can’t entrust the vision that I have for it to anybody else, I’ll have to master HTML on my own,” Femsel explained. “Then I need to design my business cards, find a literary agent and publisher discerning enough to publish me, find the right movie company to sell film rights to, and come up with profound answers to common interview questions.

With a heavy sigh, he added, “Yeah...it’s hard to be a great writer.”