New Kenyan Charity to Build American Resumés

Founded this September, Kenyan charity Building the Road to Success will help thousands of American high school students build their resumes for applying for college scholarships and financial aid, said the charity’s website. Its founder Joseph Mbantu cited compassion and altruism as his chief motivations.

“My heart and prayers go out to the high school students of America,” he said, noting that the income gap between those with and without a college degree is at a record high while the exorbitant costs of attending college without scholarship or financial aid keeps the lower class poor and upward social mobility rare. “Students from low-income families often have no time or opportunity for nice-sounding extracurricular activities that make resumes glow, so that’s what we’re for.”

BRS works by pretending to be what scholarship committees often look for—a volunteer organization helping people in countries vaguely regarded as poor and struggling. In reality the charity simply lets high school students put its name in the “volunteer work” section of the resume to beef it up and increase their chances of paying a sensible price for higher education. If somebody contacts BRS to fact-check an applicant’s resume, the staff will enthusiastically attest that the applicant did indeed build schools, power plants, highways, and freed entire towns of hunger and disease.

“The committees think students are helping us poor bastards, but in truth we are helping them poor bastards,” Mbantu explained. “It pains my soul to watch people not get what they need because of a system designed to work against them.”