Photo of Man Enjoying Hot Dog Draws Ire

John Kendalls, he who hates beautiful animals

The photo of a 19-year-old Texas Tech student and football player John Kendalls eating a hot dog with visible pleasure has drawn indignation and ire of hundreds of animal lovers since he posted it on his Facebook page. The disapproving comments range from frowny faces to death threats but all convey the feeling of repulsion and disgust elicited by Kendalls’ posing happily next to parts of dead pigs and cows. His critics call him “sick” and “depraved” for partaking in the murder of beautiful animals and boasting about it online.

“Pigs are more intelligent and neat than many dogs and cats. No matter how you look at it, seeing people smiling over dead pigs is just sad,” reads one comment. 

“You are absolute scum. I hope cows trample you to death one day for all the beautiful souls whose murder you have funded,” reads another.

A significant number of the indignant ones turned out to be hunters. 

“Yo shithead I’m a hunter and I sacrifice my comfort shooting game while you just swipe your credit card to help those majestic animals die without risking anything or even seeing them you’re a wimp and trash dude go into a full cow stable with bare hands and see how long you’ll last,” one of them wrote.

As Kendalls’ haters grew in number exponentially, he became the subject of two petitions. 

The first one, hosted on change.org, seeks to have his Facebook page deleted permanently, calling his cruelty disgusting and saying that proudly displaying it should not be allowed.

The second petition, on AVAAZ.org, seeks to prohibit Kendalls from ever visiting a store or vendor that sells anything made from an animal carcass. Its organizes said that the petition is “for the sake of all animals, especially the beautiful creatures whom people kill and eat just for fun and pleasure.” 

Kendalls remains calm and confident in the face of said petitions and mass indignation, claiming that the animals in the hot dog in question were killed legally and their deaths improved the lives of other animals like them. 

His haters, however, are unswayed, saying that “legal or not, they’re beautiful and majestic animals and you shouldn't just kill them for pleasure with your money, let alone smile next to their remains, this isn't a goddamn safari,” and “your days are numbered, fool.” 

At press time, Kendalls was shrugging.