Pop Singer Announces Everything Will be All Right

By Ilya Yashin

Jackie Jackety-Rockman rocking it like a rock

Pop singer-songwriter Jackie Jackety-Rockman announced at a press conference last Friday that everything will be all right if you follow your heart. “Open up your heart and let it sing,” he said to a group of straight-faced middle-aged reporters, adding that he saw her walking down the street and she looked good.

Speaking about the recent scandal, Jackety-Rockman said that he didn’t know what he was doing, baby, but he did it anyway. He also urged reporters to just be themselves and let the chips fall where they may because if they believe in themselves nothing else will matter. “You rocked my world, baby, oooooh yeah,” Jackety-Rockman said.

At press time, Jackety-Rockman was so lonely he didn’t know what to do and whenever he could he would think of you.