Dead Roommate Refuses to Pay Rent

By Holly Stavarski

    Two years ago, when best friends Jillian Holmes, Jacklyn Moore, and Tara Washington moved in together, they never thought anything would get in the way of their unwavering bond. That was until Jacklyn Moore suddenly died.

“I was devastated. She was my best friend,” said Jillian Holmes, who had known Jacklyn since pre-school, “I thought that I was never going to see her again, but now I can’t wait for this bitch to leave.”

After her tragic death, instead of taking advantage of eternal rest, Jacklyn has remained a resident in the apartment she and her friends shared and has been “more active and inconsiderate than ever.”

“Jacklyn used to be a really chill girl,” said Tara, Jacklyn’s friend since freshman year, “But now, she is up at all hours of the night slamming doors, pushing our décor off the tables, moaning – it never stops.”

According to Jillian, Jacklyn’s actions escalated drastically when they attempted to sublet her room.


“Our first, and last, subletter woke up in the middle of the night to find the walls bleeding and Jacklyn hovering over her shrieking. Even though, she moved out immediately, the walls still bleed. We are never going to get our security deposit back”

Tara, who used to be an avid socialite, is scared to entertain.

“I can never invite any one over, because you never know when Jacklyn is going to show up. She never showers, so whenever she is coming you become overwhelmed with this putrid smell of rotting flesh. Then, depending on her mood, she will start throwing books or demonic hands will come out of the walls. Its really annoying and it scares everyone away.”

Because they cannot have any one over, let alone have anyone move in to help out with the rent, Jillian and Tara have demanded that, if Jacklyn plans on staying in the house, she needs to pay. 

“She is here more than either of us and causes such a disturbance that she owes us,” says Tara. “It also doesn’t help that her weird boyfriend is always here.”

When initially confronted by her roommates about the rent, Jacklyn appeared as a full body apparition, melted her “flesh” off, and attacked Jillian and Tara with a swarm of ghost bees. Both agreed that her answer was “pretty clear.”

At press time, Jillian and Tara have been conferring with their landlord on how to exorcise her from the house and take her off the lease.