Local Cop Suspended Amid Sex Scandal

By Tom Harnett

Details are still scattered about the story, but as far as we can tell a local South Oakland police officer has been suspended as rumors of a sex scandal broke late last night.  Agent Frisky is stout, with a mane of brown hair that women find hard to keep their eyes off.  

Frisky has declined to speak, but his partner had a couple thoughts. “I feel so bad for him,” Said Officer Doogan. “I had really been on his back a lot recently, I guess the stress of the job has a breaking point. Regardless, there is no excuse for this kind of horseplay.”

Rumors began surfacing after a photo emerged last week, but grew stronger as time went on.  Agent Frisky’s Lawyer, Glenn Glutenberg, released a statement, “Agent Frisky should not be held responsible for what he does in the privacy of his own stable,” He said. “And the pressures of mating season have been weighing heavy on him, I don’t know how you can blame the stallion for his natural behavior.”

Agent Frisky was sired by Alaska Question, who was 0-17 in various Derbies and put down by the age of 2.