Guy Rapping in Quiet Study Room Actually Really Good

At 2:51 p.m. this Monday, five students felt themselves in the presence of greatness in the quiet study room when they heard another student rapping to the music in his headphones. His cadences were uniquely powerful, his rhythm impeccable. The other students reportedly glowed with awe of his performance as they tried to ignore such rare beauty and go on studying in the annoying silence.

“Not one of us had the nerve to tell him that a quiet reading room is not the right place to rap in,” said Charles Door, one of the five lucky students, who at the time was cramming for a test. “Any place is the right place if you have the voice and superb flow that he does. I was praying he’d start rapping louder.”

Stephanie Erby had just started reading the book due in three days when she was mesmerized by the rapid-fire syllables pleasant as a forest brook. She expressed her gratitude to fortune for sending him to the quiet study room. “It pains me to think that he could’ve easily gone to some other place where it’s noise anyway—you know, just about anywhere else,--because then the surrounding noise would’ve drown out is lovely rapping and people would just go on studying like they came there to do,” Erby said.

Surveillance cameras show that at 3:10 p.m. the ceiling parted above the gifted rapper. Golden light illuminated him and from the opening fell offers from major recording companies, invitations to tour the world with sold-out concerts, stacks of cash, and squealing naked chicks. The five students kneeled around him to shake his hand and beg him for an autograph. One of them fainted from happiness.