Looking for an Alternative to ObamaCare? Try BidenCare!

While the Affordable Care Act website undergoes maintenance due to a few glitches, Vice President Biden would like to remind voters that he himself established a federally-funded healthcare option in 1996 called Uncle Joe’s Cheap-Ass Doctor 9000.

Biden’s healthcare plan covers the following:

1.      Getting your head stuck in the presidential limo sunroof

2.      Sneezing out an entire Corn Nut

3.      Eating a boogery Corn Nut

4.      Straining your back reaching for shiny things

5.      Drying out your eyes from staring contest with the Lincoln statue

6.      Toenails just keep falling off

7.      Drinking entire bottles of Pepto in one go – what kind of pansy doesn’t finish the whole damn thing?

8.      Clicky dentures

9.      Asking the doctor for a bump of some of those happy-dappy pills

10.  Syphilis